Jun 29 2006
Waiting Room Rant
Waiting rooms are magical places and my allergy doctor’s office is no exception. What makes this one even more special is the amount of waiting you do; wait for the shot, then wait for any possible reactions. Granted, 30 – 45 minutes every other week is a small price to pay for the ability to breathe, but we all need something to complain about…
It was time for my shot, so I drove to the office after work. I scanned my card (cool check-in tool by the way), found a nice seat in the corner, and grabbed a copy of Time to thumb. That’s when I encountered a woman I’ll call Sandy. Sandy (used to be Sandi, but changed after the kids) had two kids with her; inquisitive and energetic little Michael (4ish) and poor little Gabby (2ish) who had missed lunch, skipped a nap, and really, really, really wanted some attention.
Sandy, however loves her cell phone and apparently believes the only way to talk on a cell phone is to talk LOUDLY. It seems Sandy and Warren (her husband) were having issues with their insurance. I won’t go into the details, but Sandy sure did. We make ID theft so easy sometimes…
Meanwhile, poor Gabby, wanting more attention, started to cry and climb her mom. Michael was roaming the office pushing the doorbell used by the front desk. “Now Michael, you know you are not supposed to do that.” Yes, he knows.
Enter David, a tall 17ish kid who loves to talk. David happens to make eye-contact with Paula, a poor-unsuspecting mom with a well-behaved 5-year-old next to her. With eye contact established, David dangles his bait, “You know, I had an accident on my skateboard and had brain surgery.”
Paula gasps.
David sets the hook: “If we had waited 15 more minutes to go to the hospital, I would have been dead. I only had a small cut on my head, want to see the scar?”
Paula looks genuinely frightened.
Sandy: “No, you were the one with the inflammation, you take care of it!”
Enter Esmeralda and her little daughter Angelica (2ish). Angelica has one of those special “bi-tonal” voices that, when you apply enough air, can hit two notes at the same time. She is very, very good at hitting those notes. It sounded a bit like a cross between a tornado siren and tires squealing. Angelica was not happy about ANYTHING.
David: “This is where the Titanium plate runs, they had to put in 6 screws. I’m a big believer in helmets now.”
Sandy: “Look, I never wanted to try that in the first place, YOU take care of it!”
Receptionist: “No Michael, don’t push that button again. It makes the nurses sad.”
Gabby: “Mommy, please pick me up.”
Angelica: “AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Nurse: “Tim, are you ready to go?”
What? Already?
PS. The names were changed to protect the innocent.
